Gambling Lesson 2 Avoiding the Pitfalls of Early Recovery
Assuming you have participated in lesson one, we again ask that you observe a few transitional moments of silence. Please refrain from thought, a quieted mind invites a relaxed spirit. Should you feel restrictions around facial areas or body parts know that it is only thru awareness that acceptance can be entertained. Again scan your entire being. Do you feel confined or tight in other areas? Acknowledge the disturbances as distractions rather then discomforts. Here we begin to surrender to our pretentious needs for struggle. We are once again going to clear our minds of thought, while paying close attention to our breathing. Please be patient with yourself. If you fall short of your goal, credit the attempt and continue to repeat the procedure. In time you will have mastered this task. Enjoy being.
Congratulations, you are still with us and hopefully you have begun to experience a calming throughout your day. Remember, you could practice this technique any time, and are encouraged to do so throughout the day. Even if only for seconds while enjoying lunch or at the work place, diligently practice the observance of your thoughts.
Pitfalls of Early Recovery
The person suffering from addiction has a long history of lacking in coping strategies and skills. Let us not put the cart before the horse. For those who have used addictive rituals as a means to buffer life’s happenings, the minutest circumstances may become difficult endeavors. Addiction has been a powerful coping mechanism for the addict, regardless of the hurtful consequences.
Coping skills are an ability to avoid and resolve conflict with minimal physical, mental and emotional strain or resistance. Coping skills may take form in breathing exercises, a pause or hesitation in thought or speech, prayer, meditation, a phone call, seeking guidance, exercise, walking, reading, music, a movie, nap, etc. Although all of these are ways of diverting the intensity of a situation, they do not address the causes.
Those who are willing to undress themselves to get down to the nitty gritty – the cause, should be cautioned. It is often a humbling experience to realize that all the excuses, blaming and rationalization for one’s problems have had little to do with others or external factors. We were not created with a nihilistic attitude or an inherent inability to manage our affairs. This is not an indication that an inability to correct preconceived notions exists but an opportunity to acknowledge how, when and where to practice prudence.
One who is willing to admit complete defeat and surrender to the struggles and hardships of past scripts has already begun to dis-identify with their former selves. Those who investigate, in juxtapositions are quick to realize the pros and cons of recovery. The painstaking growth of recovery far outweighs the evils of addiction. The recovering addict must know this if they are to succeed.
In a short time one becomes aware that the pleasure they received the night before while viewing a sitcom, reading a book or enjoying a meal was temporary. Likewise, any pain, no matter how severe or what the cause, is just as temporary. This brings us to conclude that all pain and pleasure principles are temporary experiences and manageable if accepted at face value. This is not to suggest that we glorify the pain of being mistreated, rather it is a reminder that we have alternative choices in how we perceive and react. Where the absurdities of others once provided us with an excuse to be indignant, hateful, vengeful, gossipy, self-righteous, angry or manipulative, today the mind remains quiet. We acknowledge hurt, threats, fears and insecurities while avoiding mental persuasions, knowing that it is less restrictive to understand than to be understood. The addict once consumed by skepticism, doubt and self-betrayal, enjoys the amusements of his newly found freedoms. Humor has been found in the profanity of that which once threatened the addict’s livelihood but who now enhances it. We have all conquered what seemed to be impossible feats; there was a time we had to learn to walk. If you try to fail but you succeed, which have you done?
One outstanding characteristic of an excuse is its inability to achieve logical conclusions, based on sound reasoning. Despite a history of unmanageability brought about by repeated or similar behaviors, the addict will yield to logic and rational thinking at exactly the wrong moment. This certainly does not imply that the ability to use good judgment has not been entertained or that one is incapable ofthe skills that lead to good decisions. Unfortunately, those who have managed to slip into such states of denial forgo consequences, therefore finding it a difficult task in redirecting their thoughts. The struggle does not exist in attempting to change the thinking as such, but rather is caused by a lack of underdeveloped skills in surrendering to its struggle.
Implementing exercises that increase the opportunity to advance beyond customary habitual thinking will allow you to avoid the pitfalls of recovery:
A) Identify thought.
B) Recognize all the implications of its cunning.
C) Acknowledge the task at hand while placing the proper value on its significance.
D) Avoid over exaggerating a need to feel victimized by letting go of that which has dominated the mind for so long.
There will be pain in surrendering to our addictions; after all, it is what we had become. The pain is not insignificant, but at the same time it has its limit where suffering can be experienced as limitless. Suffering results from the storytelling that goes on in our minds, a trigger taken to extremes. The mind is the birthplace of excuses, it’s domination with storytelling distracts the brain from its function of reasoning. Preoccupation implies distraction, tunnel vision, maladjusted and delusional thinking, and an inability to think outside of the box. A transformation in perception will occur as one develops skills in redirecting conditioned.
The composition of a thought extends beyond its origin, that is to say that once the thought is entertained consciously with it has developed an emotional response. These emotions tend create additional dialog often interfering with the completion of the original thought. It is this interference which results in distorted thinking, if continued maladjusted thought processing may develop. We have all experienced crises in our lives which have involved critical thinking, although emotions may have ran high our thinking remained deliberate. It is the random thoughts that generally produce the drama of negative entertainment in us. By simply acknowledging these scenarios will create focus, lessening the intensity and frequency of accurance.
Avoiding Pitfalls – Recognizing schemes, scripts and patterns
As a young man he witnessed his dad, uncles and elders enjoy sports betting, observing the comradery that took place while watching televised sports. During his teens he was introduced to bookies, guys who would give odds on a game and collect a higher percentage on a loss then a win, evening the amount of action would insure a win for themselves. It all seemed so innocent at the time, simple enjoyment and pleasure. There were times through out high school and college when our boy found himself in over his head borrowing money or manipulating funds to stay in the game. It was during these times that he would reflect on the stories he had overheard, his uncles so proudly describing how they were behind and took risks, defying the odds only to make a come back. This seemed to heighten his already aroused state, placing more at risk. Nevertheless our boy has successfully completed college, and has obtained a position as a real estate broker. At the age of thirty he finds himself married with a child. a mortgage, college loans,car payments and other responsibilities..
It is difficult for most to deny the unmanageability in their lives brought on by gambling. It is the schemes, scenarios, patterns and scripts that have lead to this maladaptive and dysfunctional state that creates interference. The external consequences are easily identified, yet the cause remains hidden beneath those self-defeating scripts. This becomes a challenge to both the therapist as well as the client.
If the effects of change are to be deliberate and permanent, a mutually agreed upon plan of action must be set specific to the clients needs. The devotion to fantasies and daydreaming that leads to irrational and distorted thinking must cease. Money must be carefully monitored, a debt reduction plan may need to be established, relationships may need mending. Social skills in the form of a support group should be developed. Hobbies of special interest should be entertained, replacing the excuse of boredom that was used to begin the action. Legal and medical problems will be prioritized if necessary. Forgiveness cannot co-exist with guilt and shame if they are dominant. Above all else, self-forgiveness must become part of the recovery process.