Love & Sex lesson 3  Biopsychosocial Aspect

If things are going according to plan you would have completed lessons one and two and are prepared to participate in lesson three.  Whatever the reasons for you being here, congratulations!  You have committed to a greater understanding of yourself.  In lesson three, we turn it up a bit by turning it down. Lesson one and two involved easy listening music throughout the transitional period, in this lesson the audio will be discontinued after a few minutes.  This is a technique we have designed in helping to calm the soul and spirit, while giving the mind something relaxing to do.  Some of you may have already begun to remove the music.  Remember to scan the body for restrictions while staying focused on your breathing.  Pay particular attention to the space between exhaling and inhaling.  Again, approximately halfway through the music will stop; continue to relax your body while redirecting your mind to stay clear of thought.  Please do not open your eyes.  You will hear the sound of my voice upon completing this exercise. Relax and begin.

It looks like you’re getting the hang of it.  Those who are beginning to master mind management will feel as if they are returning from a mini vacation; relaxed, vibrant and energetic.  For those of you, who are not yet there, enjoy the journey?  Your efforts will come upon you when you least expect it.


Our biological system arises from the passing of genes from generation to generation.  Biology presents a multitude of factors that influence our appearance and other identifying characteristics.  Hereditary cellular genetics create our DNA – our chemical composition.  This can include a predisposition to disease, the color of our eyes, hair, and skin tone, bone structure, shape, size, I.Q. and more.  We know that food and water are needed to sustain, and produce stable conditions.  Food is transformed thru biological chemical reactions and used to grow and fuel more than two hundred bones, nearly five hundred muscles, 11 kilometers of veins and arteries, and 96,560 kilometers of nerve fiber.  We are an extremely diverse and complex species capable of extraordinary feats.  Many of the chemical reactions we experience are meant to protect us by heightening our sensory receptors.  Some to excite us during procreation, others to self medicate.  Dopamine, serotonin, PFA, Phenylethladine and norepinephrine are but a few of the chemically induced neurotransmitters, which recognize and elicit change in the brain’s activities.

Under normal conditioning, neurons are charged and regulated in times of need.  If you have experienced being behind the wheel of a vehicle when sliding out of control, you would have noticed a heightened state of arousal, breathing, hearing, sight and reflexes as sensory receptors all seemed exaggerated. 

Thrill seekers, drug addicts, alcoholics, pathological gamblers, and sex addicts engage in behaviors that stimulate the charging of these neurons.  Those suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and others who frequently incite such chemical reactions have hindered the natural actions of neurotransmitters.  A temporary distortion in the brain’s functioning may have developed, impeding behavior, thoughts and emotional content.  Consequently, current events and situations may trigger unwarranted conditioned responses – synethesia. 

Our thinking plays a large role in the chemical responses of the body.  An ill body will directly affect the mind; an unhealthy mind will inadvertently take its toll on the body.  Know that as complex and diverse as we are, we are equally sensitive.  To ensure stability and proper functioning, the body needs sufficient rest, proper nutrition, regular movement (exercise) and pure thought,

Psych Aspect I    

Psychology is a branch of science that deals with mental processes – emotional and behavioral characteristics of an individual, group or activity.  An immediate goal of ours is to invite you to explore the concept that the mind is a function of the brain.  The mind an intangible aspect of our being, consisting of thoughts, ideas and emotions, the brain on the other hand is a physical entity capable of remarkable feats.  The brain is used for formulating ideas, problem solving, memory, intellectual managing, reasoning, bodily functions, and placing proper value on emotions.  When psychoanalysts speak of mental processing, most will focus on the mind’s ability at storytelling.  The mind is capable of keeping one busy with its dramatic antics and conjuring up scenarios which lead to worry, woes, strife, conflict and confusion, ending in anxiety and depression. 

Cognitive therapy suggests that we behave in certain ways due to distorted thinking, based on a poor self-image.  George Bernard Shaw was quoted as saying “if you can’t change your mind, you can’t change anything”.  How true.  After decades of unconsciously connecting with unsolicited, unprovoked thoughts, restricted thought processing does not necessarily produce thinking.  Thought processing entails the use of the brain, consciously observing a thought, determining its integrity, the precipitators, where the thought is leading, and determining the emotional attachments involved.

Our daily experiences will involve situations that invoke both negative thoughts and emotions.  This is unavoidable.  What is implied is that the amount and frequency of pain and suffering is a choice.  Advanced thinkers recognize this as a part of the human condition, they have adapted to the nuances simply by acknowledging the mental inertia involved in hostile thinking, and thus changing it’s course.  If you have found yourself entranced in the minds activities but are no longer entertained by its tone, you are headed in the right direction.  Continue this practice.  Those who remain willing to explore all the possibilities at their disposal will eventually find peace.

External sources may result in relief to some extent.  Until internal solutions become inherent abilities, suffering will continue.  Many exclaim it is impossible to clear the mind when one thought replaces another, each arriving with an emotional attachment. It’s been said ‘man who says it can’t be done should not interrupt man who is doing’.  Establish a starting point, stay focused, and credit the most discrete attempt.  Know that it (silence) won’t come naturally.  A process is involved and the outcome may be priceless.                  

Social Aspect I

Know that love is not the cause of a relationship but an aspect of it.  Loves ways will vary in form from one society to another.  The expression of love is influential, depending on culture, ethnicity or the beliefs and design of specific religious rituals.  All these have an impact on our love connections.  There are groups whose traditions (social norms) reflect a hands-on approach; where public touching, hugging, kissing and physical expressions of affection are not only tolerated, but expected.  The heritage of a culture may manifest itself in a belief that offspring should be held as close as possible for as long as possible, with gender playing a role.  There are other cultures that would determine those practices to be irresponsible and dangerously harmful – placing the child at risk of becoming overly dependent.  Our attempts purposely illustrate extreme differences in cultural proprieties concerning the expression of love.  In doing so, it becomes quite evident that we have developed pre-conditioned attitudes.  These are behaviors based on the techniques and influences of our caretakers, cultures, heritage and social practices.  Love comes in a variety of ideals.  Perhaps there are as many ways to express love as there are to those to whom we can express it. 

Social influences: ethnicity, culture, climate, politics, religion, arts, philosophies, industrialized advancements, media, medical practices, internet, economics, military, education, science and communication have been instrumental in developing our core beliefs.  Social influence is the birthplace of Epistemology, the knowledge acquired from our parents, family members, teachers, coaches, priests and rabbis which helped to familiarize our personalities, perspectives, and the way we interact with others.  Our social/economic status may avail additional opportunities as well.  Travel, education and electronics may enhance our growth and productivity.  As one begins to develop relationships outside the home setting, their formal values will be tested.  Pre-teens and teenagers can be seduced by the power of suggestion, friends, music, advertisements and Internet influences.  These will challenge their pre-established values.  Some will resist and insist that neither parents nor society have a right to impose conditioning on them.  Social norms are not a means to submission or role-playing. They are a venue to freethinking and confidence. 

1) Do you feel obligated to live and act within the confines of social norms concerning intimacy, love and sex?

2) Do you put yourself at risk physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally when in a relationship?

3) Do you feel guilt, shame or frustration due to your sexual exploits